For the past two days, I have been at a silent retreat at the St. Joseph Abbey & Retreat Center in Covington, LA. The whole point of this retreat is to create a practice of stepping away from the busy-ness of life and taking a moment to slow down and notice God’s presence all around us. This is a practice that I have experience the last two years as a part of my ordination process and have come to love and look forward to each year.
As I woke up this morning though, I woke up with a bit of sorrow in my heart knowing that I would not be here next year, gathering with clergy colleagues, renewing my spiritual faith and finding intentional, set aside rest from the busyness of my work and calling. That thought, to be honest, was a bit overwhelming as I began to think about everything that has to get done when I make it back home this evening. So in order to fight back against that feeling, I decided to open my email, work on set lists for worship and start replying to the people who had messaged me in the last two days. I chose to overcome my feelings by trying to get as much work done as possible
Do you every feel that way? Do you ever feel like the best way to tackle your day is by working harder and harder? Do you ever feel like the work you do is not enough? Do you struggle with workaholism?
I do. Many times I go to bed wishing I had more time to do certain things, or I go to bed wrestling with different ways of doing ministry. I have an unhealthy urge to keep working, because to be honest, I am a bit of a workaholic. And while that workaholism has led me to some great experiences, it has also led me down some bad ones.
I remember times when I missed out on family time because I wanted to figure out a more effective way to connect with first time visitors. There have been times when I am on vacation with my wife and I am constantly checking my email. I tend to stay at the church later than necessary because I want people to view me and my work as good, acceptable and perfect. And because that is my goal, I always feel like I am falling short of it. So I choose to work some more.
Last night in worship, a quote was read by Carey Nieuwhof that states “Workaholism is the most rewarded addiction in America today. You may get fired for drinking too much, but working too much usually gets you promoted. It will also get you a raise.”
The first time I read that quote, it bothered me. I wanted to argue that my “workaholism” is not equivalent to alcoholism. So I decided to ask some experts to justify my thinking. I reached out to a friend that works with AA groups and I asked him what some signs of alcoholism are. Here is what he said:
- Choosing to drink over other responsibilities
- Making excuses for drinking
- Isolating yourself from others to drink
- Feeling sick when you’re not drinking
As I was reading through this list, I thought to myself, see Fernie, you don’t have a problem. But then I read these again, except that the second time, I changed the word “drinking” with “working”.
- Choosing to work over other responsibilities.
- Making excuses for working.
- Isolating yourself from others to work.
- Feeling sick when you’re not working.
If I am honest, this second list made me sick to my stomach. There are many times when I choose to work rather than getting things done around the house. I have been called out for working on vacation and I always have a brilliant excuse that gets people off my back. And when that happens, I isolate myself so that I don’t get caught working. Even worse, when my excuses don’t seem to justify my working and I have to put my work away, I can get sick to my stomach hoping that nothing bad happens.
Let me be clear about something. This is not healthy. This not the way God intends for us to live. This is not a full abundant life. And if you are anything like me, I want you to hear the words that I read from scripture this morning.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God – what is good and acceptable and perfect.
-Romans 12:2
I had to stop and catch my breath when I read this text. You see, something became clear to me for the first time. I have created unhealthy work habits because I try to find my worth in whether or not the world around me thinks my work is good and acceptable and perfect.
But I want you to know something, by the standards of this world, you will never be good enough, your work will never be acceptable enough, and what you do will never be perfect. The world will always expect more and more from you. And if you are not careful, you will end up so tired from trying to achieve that unachievable goal, that you will get burnt out.
Instead, listen to what Paul is saying in this text: do not be conformed to this work, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God.
You see, if you struggle with workaholism as I do, I want to encourage you to do three things.
- First, don’t conform to this world. May you acknowledge that our work ethic is unhealthy and not the way God intended it to be.
- Second, take time to transform your way of thinking by renewing your mind. Set time aside this week to just breathe, to just catch your breath, to rest. On Monday, I took a 30 minute nap and I felt like I had wasted the day away. But when I sat down to read through scripture, I was so refreshed and renewed, that I engaged scripture in a way that I wouldn’t have without that nap. Take time to renew your mind and spirit. Find some rest, get away from your work.
- And third, may you come to know that you are already good, acceptable, and perfect in the eyes of God. When you realize that you who you are trying to be is already the person God see’s in you, the weight and pressure begin to fall off. When you come to that realization, you begin to search for yourself in God and not in your work; you begin find and experience life abundantly as it was meant to be.
As you go about your day today, may you find the freedom from your workaholism; may you find rest today. And above all, may you come to see and experience life the God intended for you to do so. You deserve it.
Together on the journey,
Pastor Fernie
